Sigh. Rachel's right.

With me, there is no "testing the waters."

There's no careful deliberation, thinking on it, taking it slow, easing into change.

It's just GO,
leaping headlong over the next cliff,
barreling through the latest brick wall with psychotic abandon,
throwing caution and reason out the window.

I try to temper this with nifty things like "logic" and "experience," and, to my credit, I usually don't make the same mistake twice. I just find hilarious new ways to screw things up.

I'm sick of fear, of holding myself back.
I'm tired of feeling skittish and wounded and feral.
The pain is real, absolute, overwhelming, temporary, insignificant, not worth the risk of missing out on life.

This reckless rushing forward applies to all areas of my life, relationships and friendships and school and work. Acting on warm feelings and impulses and hunches, snap judgments and commitments, assuming responsibilities without a second thought. So far, so good.